Sex in movies

I try to run a family friendly blog here and so I know I'm skating to the edge with this post.

What do you think about the amount of sex in films? Too much, too little or just right?

Interestingly enough, the other Friday and Sunday I was hanging out with friends and the subject came up on both occasions.

In the Friday conversation, the subject came up after seeing the film Havana Nights.

For those not familiar with the premise of the film, it is about a young American girl who re-locates to Havana, Cuba with her family. She meets a young Cuban guy and they both like dancing and eventually each other. There are obligatory conflicts with siblings and parents and everything comes to a big dramatic moment on the night of the Castro takeover.

As far as lightweight fluff movies go, it is pleasant to watch as the two stars are likable and well dressed. Since the film is about dancing and music there is a foot tapping quality to the soundtrack. All well and good. However, when they actually speak, well, at one point, one member of the audience burst out laughing at a crucial moment while the rest of the audience was too polite and stifled the temptation to guffaw.

But back to the point of the post. There was one "they slept together" scene. After the film, my friends and I discussed was that scene really necessary?

Our feeling was, no. The two characters do have some semi-meaningful dialog in that scene but if they said those lines over a cup of coffee, I think the emotional impact would be about the same.

On Sunday, the subject came up again in a conversation with another friend. We went on to discuss other movies that have "they slept together" scenes and wondered was it really necessary?

I thought of Contact and Titanic.

Contact was a film about the discovery of intelligent life in outer space via a radio signal and how the world would react to the message contained in that signal.

Fairly early in the film, the two main characters (Ellie, an atheistic astronomer and Palmer, a writer who believes in God) share an evening together and have a serious conversation where Palmer talks about a how his near death experience changed him and Ellie leaves hastily realizing she is getting too vulnerable for her own comfort. On this occasion, both characters are developed. In particular, we see Ellie forced to face some issues in her life. In this instance, sharing a sexual encounter led to emotional closeness and that scared her.

As a film maker, would there have been another way to develop the two characters as much without the "they slept together" scene? Maybe? In real life, doesn't emotional intimacy precede sexual intimacy? In movies, that line tends to get mixed up?

I also though of Titanic where the two characters share two moments that got some in the socially conservative community riled up: the charcoal sketch sequence and the time they do it in the car in the cargo hold of the ship.

In the context of the Kate Winslet character's life, she is looking back on a set of life changing experiences. Would the grandmotherly character be as believable without those scenes? Perhaps not?

Some reading this blog may think, so what's the big deal that the characters "slept together?"

If it develops the characters in believable and necessary ways that it is understandable. In the three films I've mentioned, in one, I believe it was completely unnecessary. In the latter two, I can see why it was a part of the story though I'm not fully convinced the character's development would have been less plausible without those scenes.

However, a broader point we discussed was: is there far too casual and cavalier an attitude about sex in our culture?

The Islamic critique of American society is partly based on this point.

It doesn't justify crashing planes into buildings to slaughter innocent people.

Nevertheless, having said that, as a society, are we better off with such carefree attitudes about sexuality?

Having some social libertarian inclinations, I don't like the government censoring films or trying to influence people's personal lives with legal constraints and tax incentives/disincentives. I'm still wrestling with the degree to which personal religious based morality should find manifestation in society in law.

However, as an individual acting in the free marketplace, I can choose more carefully where my entertainment dollars go. And it is always good to discuss what I see afterward with friends to mull over not only the artistic elements of what I see but also the moral components.

Interestingly, this topic was discussed in this article by Camerin Courtney who is a single Christian woman who wants her faith to have reality in her day-to-day life. She described the types of entertainment she views and how they affect her views on sexuality. Be sure to check it out. Here is an excerpt:

..... In today's entertainment culture, it's easy to get desensitized to sexual ethics and practices that are contrary to our Christian beliefs. In other words, the new battleground for sexual temptation isn't the bedroom, but our brains.

I'm startled every now and then when watching Friends or Alias or the latest blockbuster flick to find myself not at all fazed when a couple winds up in bed together on the first date, or when I find myself even rooting for the consummation of a long-awaited romance or the breakup of a marriage so a third party can enter the scene.

I'm not proud of these things, but they're true. And I know from a few candid conversations with friends that there are many of us desperately trying to keep from being products of our over-sexualized culture.
......
This is also a reason we need to allow others who share our faith into the messier parts of our lives as well. I need the loving accountability of friends who will call me on certain decisions when I'm perhaps tuning out God's voice or having a difficult time hearing it. What a vital role we can play in each other's lives, drawing us closer to each other and to God, as we take the risk to be real with one another.

Well said, Camerin. Check out the whole article.