Sherry, I can relate...

One of my periodic blog visits is to Scheherazade's Stay of Execution. Sherry, for short, is a recovering lawyer living in Maine who writes beautifully and honestly.

Obviously, one can't really "know" somebody really well via a blog but it does provide a window into their thinking and their world and often times I find myself saying, yup, you said it right, Sherry.

Demographically and from what personality traits that show through in her blog says we are probably polar opposites in many things. Yet, I find I visit her site time and again because she is able to put into words the thoughts that are bouncing around in my brain looking for words.

Here is a sampling of some of her recent posts:

On politics...
I worked at a venture capital firm for a while and really do love capitalism and the creativity and innovation that accompany entrepreneurship.  I am sometimes impatient with my more liberal friends at how easily they seem willing to hamstring businesses (always calling them "big corporations" as though that makes them evil somehow).  I don't like paying taxes.  But I am now a registered Democrat because I also believe that we need to take care of one another.  We need to be kind.  It is too easy to be selfish -- I know too many good intentioned people who are selfish, including me -- for us to take away the safety nets that government run social services provide.  I would love to believe that private charities would do social services better, more efficiently, without pork and waste, but I'm afraid I just can't see it, based on what I have experienced of human nature.  I care a lot about public education, although for the life of me I can't figure out how to fix it, or even at what level (city, state, nation?) it should be addressed.

I feel much the same way about things with the exception, I opted to register Republican. I too want a social safety net. I recognize that locally run private charities might not be up to the task as she does. However, I guess where we differ is that she has more confidence in the government to get it right than I do.

On feminism...

I can say that I am glad to be born in the generation of women that I'm in.  I've never felt limited -- professionally, intellectually, financially, socially -- by my gender.  I mean, maybe from time to time I have, but those moments are rare and strange.  The general water I swim in is full of possibility.  I'm accustomed to being the only woman in a room full of men and am not a bit shy or self-conscious about it.  A lot of times I hardly notice it, in fact. 
................
I can also say that I'm trying to figure out what it means to be "feminine."  And that I'm interested in it.  I'm learning, I think, how to be more feminine, not in terms of artifice and makeup and fashion, but in terms of how I respond to the world and to my own feelings.  I think I've lived a lot of my life trying to be exclusively rational, assertive, competitive, jovial, and self-determining.  I'm learning how to be more intuitive, responsive, connected, emotional, and fluid.  I'm not sure it's so much learning how to be those things as it is relaxing and not trying to pretend I don't have those parts of me.  I don't know what this has to do with feminism but it has a lot to do with me trying to figure out how being a woman affects how I move in this world, and what my impact and influence will be.

As a guy, I respect what Sherry is saying here. I like the idea and fact that women are equals and when I meet a woman who is living up to that, I like that. I also like the idea and fact that these same women who are my equals are also seeking to understand that they are women and thus there is something different about being female and relishing that.

As a guy, I like treating my women friends as equals. Yet, interestingly, there are times when being a guy means being the one who seeks to protect and serve the women in my life in ways that are appropriate to the relationship I have with her. And it is really great when I perceive that, act on that and my woman friend appreciates me for doing so.

On Valentine's Day...

The thing I don't like about Valentine's Day is that it makes me ashamed to be alone.  It doesn't make me feel any lonelier than I do ordinarily -- and these days, I'm pretty contented.  But it makes me ashamed.  I feel like it's not socially acceptable to be single; like there's no place for me; like I'm a loser.  I feel like I need to explain myself or come up with a good excuse.  I've been sick.  The dog ate my boyfriend.  I don't have a good excuse.  I'm single.  I'd like, I suppose, not to be single. 

Sherry, I can relate ...