Oh that I might have my request,
and that God would fulfill my hope,
that it would please God to crush me,
that he would let loose his hand and cut me off!
This would be my comfort;
I would even exult in pain unsparing,
for I have not denied the words of the Holy One.
Wow! Shocking isn't it?
This is in the Bible.
We have the picture of the Bible with warm fuzzy stories of people following God and being nice to each other. But the Bible is as real as the dirt in the ground.
What is Job saying here?
He seems to be saying: God, kill me now! If you kill me now, I'll put up with the pain knowing that I didn't deny you.
What is my strength, that I should wait?
And what is my end, that I should be patient?
Is my strength the strength of stones, or is my flesh bronze?
Have I any help in me,
when resource is driven from me?
Job knows he is just flesh and blood. He isn't made of stone or bronze and immune from the pain and anguish he is feeling. He knows his personal strength is limited and his emotional resources are being stretched to the breaking point.
What stands out to me about this passage is (1) the incredible honesty of Job and (2) his desire not to "deny the words of the Holy One."
He freely admits he is at the end of his rope.
As someone who grew up in the Asian culture and still very much lives with those influences, there is a lot of "saving face" mentality. On many matters cultural, I think different is simply different and not necessarily better or worse. But the existential reality is we are flesh and blood and creaturely and very finite. It may sound cliche to say it but we have to realize God is God and we are not.
The atheist would at this point shake her head and say: why all this anguish over God? Just admit you are all alone in the universe and you suffer and when you die, it is all over so quite your whining! In the end, I suppose that is why atheists are so proud of themselves. They feel they know the truth. They believe there is nothing out there and so there is this pride of saying, eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die!
I'm sure within Job's head, there is a voice that says: God isn't there.
Yet, he persists. Job doesn't want to "deny the words of the Holy One."
In How to Read the Bible Book by Book, the authors summarized the story of Job in this way:
As creatures wholly dependent on God for well being, will the godly love God for himself or only for his benefits? As creatures endowed with creaturely wisdom, are the godly willing to live within the bounds of creaturely wisdom, or will they demand to participate as equals in God's wisdom?Look, Job is hurting and he has doubts but yet ... he holds onto God and brings all the broken pieces to God.
In this world, there is a lot of beauty in it and I want to thank God for it. In this world, there is a lot of pain and suffering and ... what am I to do with it?
Curse God?
Bring it to God and fight like hell to do something about it?
Lord, it is a messy world. My life is messy. The lives of those around me are messy. Help me to bring it all to you. Thank you that you give us the story of Job so we need not feel alone when we feel overwhelmed in life. Thank you that you also give us Psalm 23. Amen.
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