Devotional Thoughts: Friends give and take abuse

Job 6:14-30 continues Job's rant.

A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends,
even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

Is this the right thing to do?

I suppose at the level of simple humanity, the loyalty of friendship demands it?

If a friend loses their faith, do I stop being their friend in their time of need. I think not.

But clearly, we see that Job is really at the edge of the breaking point. He feels that Eliphaz speech in Job 4-5 was a personal attack on him. One could imagine that as Eliphaz was giving his take, the other friends nodded in agreement further upsetting Job.

Job tears into his friends ...

But my brothers are as undependable as intermittent streams,
as the streams that overflow
when darkened by thawing ice
and swollen with melting snow,
but that cease to flow in the dry season,
and in the heat vanish from their channels.

Big strong rivers never dry up even in the heat of summer. But small ones do. Job feels his friends are letting him down like small rivers running dry.

Caravans turn aside from their routes;
they go up into the wasteland and perish.
The caravans of Tema look for water,
the traveling merchants of Sheba look in hope.
They are distressed, because they had been confident;
they arrive there, only to be disappointed.
Now you too have proved to be of no help;
you see something dreadful and are afraid.

Is it more painful to have expectations disappointed or to have no expectations?

Expectations are inevitable. Without hope we have no drive to move forward. Without expectations we won't work for what is possible. And so as humans we want, need, to depend on friends and it is such a disappointment when they let us down.

Have I ever said, Give something on my behalf,
pay a ransom for me from your wealth,
deliver me from the hand of the enemy,
ransom me from the clutches of the ruthless?
Teach me, and I will be quiet;
show me where I have been wrong.
How painful are honest words!
But what do your arguments prove?
Do you mean to correct what I say,
and treat the words of a despairing man as wind?
You would even cast lots for the fatherless
and barter away your friend.
But now be so kind as to look at me.
Would I lie to your face?
Relent, do not be unjust;
reconsider, for my integrity is at stake.
Is there any wickedness on my lips?
Can my mouth not discern malice?

There is a difference between just criticism and unjust criticism. If Job had some secret sin, he would not feel his friends are unfair. But apparently, he had searched his heart sincerely and believes he is in good standing with God. And from Job 1-2, we know he is indeed in good standing with God. In fact, we find that God is proud of him!

So from a "preaching" point of view what kind of application can we draw from this section of Job?

I'd make these points:

(1) Be really really really careful in assuming someone has sinned
When someone's life is falling apart, do we assumed they sinned? In some cases, it is might be so. If someone is drinking themselves to death then there is a problem and to the extent one can intervene one must. But if there is no obvious sin involved, then we need to resist assuming there is one.

(2) Friends allow each other a lot of leeway in venting
Job started the venting in Job 3 and said some pretty raw things. Eliphaz responded in Job 4-5 at a theological level. Job gets even more worked up in Job 6 because he felt unsupported by his friends.

(3) What people do is more important than what they say especially when they are hurting
Job's anger at God sounds sacrilegious but isn't it better for him to say something theologically incorrect than to go out and do something stupid? For instance, he could have said, okay God, you abandoned me so now I'm going to make a golden cow and worship that and ask it to heal me.

Lord, give me wisdom in life to know how to respond to the people in my life. People are in different places in their spiritual journey and I need discernment in how I respond to them. For some, they need a word of encouragement. For some they need a word of correction. For some, I simply need to shut up and listen. Help me to be in prayerfulness in every conversation I have. Amen.